Drugged dubbing

I have a confession to make - today I was sitting at home watching the french version of 'The Nanny' on tv. As I was watching the show I became disturbed by a number of aspects. Firstly - why does 'The Nanny' have to be translated as 'Une nounou d'enfer' which in French means A nanny from hell....why do the French have the right to say that she comes from hell? I understand the need to change the titles of programs and that sometimes during the translation process the title can be significantly altered as direct translation doesn't make sense, but in this case it certainly could have been directly translated as La nounou - why the need to add the hell part...Secondly - the voice of Fran in French is terrible, it's just a relatively normal voice - there's nothing special about it, nothing nasal, the whole annoying aspect of her voice is lost completely! And yet, they keep her English laugh - so she goes from speaking normally in French to a hideous laugh from the original version and it just doesn't work - not even close! But the most disturbing thing of all is the voice of Brighton Sheffield. The man dubbing Brighton clearly has problems, he sounds like he is on drugs. The voice of Grace is almost as bad and is obviously done by an equally stoned woman. But it's not just Brighton and Grace, they are just two of countless examples on French tv. I noticed it at first a few months ago, and since then I have been haunted by my discovery. The voices of children in American and English series are clearly dubbed by adults...and as these adults are trying to recreate the voice of a child, they change their voices in bizarre ways and end up sounding like one of those chipmunks - Alvin, Simon, Theodore! I am convinced that many of them must be on drugs, the voices that they come up with can't be possible from someone who is sober....or at least if it's not drugs, then they must have inhaled a significant amount of helium gas...Who do they think they are? and are French people not disturbed by this as well? Do they not have a problem with the fact that every child sounds like a drugged adult? Surely they must realise! And is it the same in other countries with dubbed tv shows? Is it just a logistical problem that has never confronted those of us from English speaking countries who choose not to dub foreign programs? Afterall, I guess there just aren't enough child actors around - they're all too busy in school. And I suppose the child actors who do exist actually want to act and be on screen and not just in some sound studio providing the voice for some snotty-nosed American kid who's rolling in the cash and the glory. I tried to find some examples for you on Youtube so that you could listen for yourselves and prove my theory right. But unfortunately I can't find a clip from 'une nounou d'enfer' that features little Brighton. Unbelievable I know! So then I looked up '7 à la maison' which translates as 7 at home - doesn't quite have the same ring to it as '7th heaven' does it? there they go with their bloody translation again. But the episodes I found from this show featured the older teenagers, who fortunately are dubbed much better than the kiddies...So you'll have to just trust me on this one and join me in saying NO to drugged dubbing.

Under pressure

Today I connected to my blog to see if I was inspired to write another message, and to my surprise I had apparently received more than 120 hits in 2 days. Now I'm feeling the pressure - there appears to be people actually reading my blog - what do I say to you all? How about some shameless promotion for my company! For those of you with access to France 24 (ie everyone with the internet - which means you!) I suggest you watch it at 1am on Friday morning (7th dec) - that is of course 1am Paris time. The 6th of December marks the 1 year anniversary of France 24 and so it's time to celebrate! We will all be partying with a private concert, djs, world cuisine and surprises (a little bit disturbing) but for the public enjoyment we will be playing the Best of France 24 bloopers after the 1am bulletin (though the exact time is still undecided). I had the pleasure of watching these yesterday and they are great! You should see some of the rubbish that went to air courtesy of us! Quite amusing....
Now that I know I have an audience, I'll try and raise the standard of my posts....although I'm still not convinced that the hit counter is working. I think it's either a) broken b) trying to flatter me as it's christmas or c)my family visiting 20 times a day....

The Metro

One of the many things that I love about Paris is the metro - that is, when it is actually functioning. Now that the strikes have come to a temporary halt, I feel it is the perfect time to pay tribute to the metro in an attempt to explain what I have been missing out on over these past few weeks. So here are my top 5 reasons to love the metro.

1) The MUSIC - I am convinced that most commuters really don't appreciate the standard of music they get on the metro in Paris. Ok it must be said straight up that in Paris, as in any other city, there is of course quite a lot of crappy music and annoying buskers going around who you wish would just shut up and let you read your book or listen to your own music on your ipod, but there are also a lot of really great performers. In my opinion, the standard in general here is much higher. Afterall, to busk at a Paris metro station you have to go through an audition first! My favourite metro station for the music is Châtelet - I love the classical orchestra that is there most days serenading the crowds - I often stop and listen and soak up the awesome acoustics. Please click on the link on the left to see the Châtelet orchestra playing. Then there are the many buskers who play inside the cabins on the train - this can either be dreadful, given that you are in an enclosed space and can't escape, or absolutely great!! I'm always somewhat disturbed by the two young boys on line 2 doing a strip tease/pole dance/ rap show, but they are always entertaining. The best I've seen though (not in the flesh) was shown to me this week on Facebook - I've included a link to this metro performance, a group of guys working their magic on line 1.

2) The frosty atmosphere on board - maybe this is something that only foreigners can really appreciate, but I will never tire of the looks on the faces of Parisians in the metro. All the passengers look like they want to kill themselves - and anyone who doesn't is a tourist, or at least, not Parisian. And if you're smiling, or heaven forbid laughing, then you clearly have something wrong with you and will receive death stares from the other commuters.

3) The accessibility is tops! You really can get anywhere in Paris, with a metro stop on almost every corner, you never have to walk for more than 7 mins to get to a metro station.

4) The frequency - this of course varies depending on the line, but when you're like me and live near line 1, you have a train every 3 minutes! Even on the lines with the least amount of trains running, the maximum wait time is 7 minutes. The downside to this is that you become impatient and find yourself cursing if you have to wait 5 minutes or more.

5) The metro in Paris is one of the easiest transport systems in the world to use - with each line numbered and colour-coded, the only thing left to do is figure out which direction you want to be heading in and voilà, you're on your way.

So stay with us my little metro, no more strikes please!

And the winner is...

Cold Case!!! And the award is - 'Worst and most inappropriate use of music in a TV series'.

For those of you not familiar with this wonderful series, I advise you to watch it just once (more frequently if you can stomach it) to experience the ridiculous song choice and inappropriate placement of these songs within the program. To be fair, the songs probably sound more out of place in the French dubbed version than in the original, but I'm sure that no matter what language you watch the show in, the music still is surprising - and not in the good sense of the word.

November ends nicely

Not only did November have a fantastic beginning, as is usually the case, given that it is the celebration of me coming into this world, but it also had a lovely end (touch wood - it's not over yet...).

The end of November saw the end of the strikes!! YAY! Only fellow Parisians will know exactly what it's like to live through strikes in Paris, but let me tell you it is not enjoyable to put it nicely. Having said that, negotiations are long and continuing so it is highly likely the strikes will come back to haunt us in December, but for the moment we are greeted by trains at metro stations and not by a trainless platform full of aggressive, psychotic commuters who think that they are the ONLY person being affected by the strikes.

The end of November also saw the beginning of my CDI (which for everyone else in the world outside of France just means a full-time, permanent position). That's right, now I am officially an Assistant Producer for France24 - the best source of news and information available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week ;) And being France, I actually have more days off per year than I have working days! Well, given that I work in the middle of the night (11pm til 5.30am) as compensation, I only have to work 15 days (or nights as the case may be) in a month. Add to that my 6 weeks annual holidays and I don't feel like I work very often. But I'm definately not complaining - I work with a great group of people and for the moment, I'm very happy.

And for the icing on the cake, November also ended with Mr. Howard losing the election. Finally I don't have to put up with little Johnny, his crazy ideas and worse still his parachute material tracksuits for his bloody power walking escapades (although I think I prefer the tracksuits to the shorts - see below). We will see how the labor party will go, whether this will be an altogether positive change remains to be seen but at least I can say goodbye to John 'Mr. Extreme' Howard.

La Grève à Paris!!!! (Paris Strikes)

There aren't many things that I hate (a very strong word I know) about France, but I would be lying if I said it was the easiest place to live. Inspired by the current transport strike, here is a list of things that frustrate the hell out of me in Paris.

1) Transport strikes!! After spending 2 hours trying to get home from work, crushed against the door of one of the only operating metros in Paris, having to clutch on for my life at each stop when the door would actually open and I would have to miraculously not fall out backwards with the pressure of the crowd of people on top of me, I realised just how much I hate the bloody strikes in Paris!!! I get why they are striking - the government wants to reform the pension system for railway workers, who have ridiculous advantages due to an ancient law based on difficult working conditions faced by these people in the past - and surprise, surprise, the railway workers don't want to lose these advantages. In a country that has such a history of 'power of the people', France loves a good strike. Well you know what? I don't!!! Surely there must come a time when the railway workers realise they have been lucky enough to have it easy for this long and that there is no good reason for them to be able to retire earlier than everyone else given that their line of work is not exactly hard labour. In a city like Sydney, I'm not sure that transport strikes would have as crippling an effect as they do here, given that there are many people who drive to work anyway, and that there is not just one method for getting around (buses, trains, ferries etc). But in Paris, where the metro is the lifeline of the city - it's hell when it doesn't work!

2) French TV - In my opinion French TV is some of the worst in the world!! Yes I haven't watched TV all over the world, but I can certainly tell you that of all the TV that I have watched, the worst has been in France. When I first arrived here, speaking to my students, I found that most French people had what I thought was a 'snobby' attitude - they all turned their noses up at television and said that they only watched if for the occasional film or documentary. I just thought as usual they were trying to be 'intellectual', but after living here for over a year, I now understand my students - the television is bloody terrible. Basically you can watch the news, a bad game show, or a talk show with a bunch of people sitting around giving me their opinion on some rubbish topic. There are no decent series, or dramas - the only things I enjoy watching are dubbed American series - which is saying something!! For further proof, I used to groan when CSI, Law and Order, NCIS etc would come on back home - I think there was a massive overload of these programs and I couldn't handle them anymore, I used to turn off the TV and walk out of the room. Now, I love them - Les experts (CSI) is one of my favourite things to watch - which just goes to show you the extent of crap that is broadcast over here. You frenchies out there feel free to defend yourselves, and point me in the direction of a good french show.

3) Paperwork and administration - a simple task like going to the post office is not a simple task in Paris. It is an ordeal which takes at least an hour, no matter what time of day, what day of the year or which part of Paris you are in. And the amount of paperwork involved in obtaining information, changing your details, or joining an association is just ridiculous. Every administrative action in Paris seems to require not just a form but a 'dossier' (file) which includes about a thousand things.

And that's enough complaining for the moment - any more and I'll turn into a real Parisian (did I mention the complaining nature of the French also annoys the hell out of me sometimes?!)

Here's hoping that the bloody strike ends soon!

Joyeux Anniversaire Kate!

In the past week I was lucky enough (I am very spoiled!) to spend time with some great friends from across the globe. To celebrate her birthday on the 2nd of November, Kate flew all the way from Australia to party here in Paris. An Australian coming to Paris is reason enough for a Swede to come as well and for all of us Parisians (or fake Parisians in my case) to make the long trip out to Versailles to catch up with the other Frenchies - and the newest, cutest one of all of them - Arthus.

Impressive Technique

Proud Mother

Swedish Lullaby Queen

It was a difficult extended weekend of eating, drinking, shopping, movies, walking, relaxing and catching up - la vie est dur!



And to prove just how great the weekend was, I have the photographic evidence - thanks to an AWESOME birthday present - my very own digital camera....No more stealing other people's photos and passing them off as my own.



et voilà... C'est toujours un plaisir de passer le temps avec les gens de PARADI5E.... a reminder of how lucky I am to have found and kept these people in my life....