The Language Phenomenon

The language phenomenon is a particularly bizarre experience which happens when you move abroad and begin to live in another language....You may be under the false impression that moving to another country with another language means that you become bilingual very quickly - possessing a worthwhile skill of being able to make yourself understood in 2 languages...In fact it is the opposite - you become shit in both languages!!! - It's not just me I swear! In my french/english case I can report the following observations;

1) The experience of being surrounded by french means that your expressions in english become direct translations of french phrases or that you begin using the syntax of a french sentence when you are constructing sentences in english - it results in gold sentences like the one that my roomie used when she called her Irish friend and didn't get through to her but got her answering machine - she started the message with " Oh what a shame, I fell on your answering machine" - which as I'm sure you're aware doesn't make any sense in english....
2) Teaching english everyday and constantly hearing the same mistakes because a student applies the "french way of thinking and speaking" to the english language doesn't help at all - you hear the mistakes so often that after a while they sound normal to you and you begin speaking like your students - saying things like - I don't want to give a course - instead of - I don't feel like teaching....
3) Being surrounded by french also means that there are a number of english words that you "lose" - you know the words that are used in everyday expressions, or words that your students need to use all the time - but words that are not used everyday - something the tiniest bit obscure - you forget - a student asks 'how do you say "......" in english?' - and you realise that whilst you understand the french word and know what they are saying - you have forgotten the english translation...
4) Speaking english everyday at work means that you cannot escape your mother tongue and that you find yourself trying to translate english expressions or using english syntax in your construction of a french sentence...

In the end it is a vicious cycle - your french influences your english and your english influences your french and you can't make yourself understood to anyone - you begin to sound like a retard in all circumstances....sorry to spoil the bilingual dream! - and don't even get me started on spelling - that's even worse - is this even how you spell "phenomenon"??? - somebody help me!