Living away from home in a country that is not your own gives you a particular perspective of the new country you find yourself living in - that of an outsider. Having grown up among a different set of standards, traditions and everyday activities means that naturally you have a different way of looking at your new world - through glasses of wonder, excitement, curiosity, confusion, apprehension, pleasure, and surprise. In the beginning the experience of learning, living and breathing a new culture is unbelievably exciting and interesting - everything seems new, refreshing and enriching. As time passes by, the novelty wears off slightly as what was once new and surprising becomes normal and part of your everyday reality. Don't get me wrong, you continue to have new experiences, new shocks and find out more about the country, but it becomes less frequent. And when this happens, instead of only noticing the amazing things around you that you never knew existed, you begin to focus on the amazing things you once had that don't seem to exist in your new home. And hence this brings me to my list of French rarities - these are not necessarily amazing things, nor are they all things that I miss, they are just things which curiously are incredibly rare or even non-existant in France. I can think of so many, but for your reading pleasure I have narrowed it down to 10.
1) Random Breath tests - I must admit, I can't be the authority on RBTs in France given that I live in Paris and have not seen much else of this country and that I don't drive here or have a car, however that being said I can say that I have NEVER seen a random breath test in France. With my job I catch taxis to and from work everyday so I have been a passenger a substantial amount of times at all sorts of crazy hours on every day of the week and yet not once have I seen someone tested. In a country where sensible driving and respect of the road rules is also incredibly rare, it seems somewhat odd to me that they don't breath test people more often.
2) Acknowledgement of Sexual Harassment - In the land of the 'bisous' (ie giving everybody you know or don't know, like or dislike a kiss on the cheek when you meet them) and sleazy men (i'm sorry to the French boys that I do like but the stereotype is generally true!) one would think that sexual harassment would be at an all time high - women surely must complain about the inappropriate behaviour of their sleazy co-workers - and yet it would appear that they don't. As far as I'm concerned sexual harassment is not acknowledged in this country, not that I have been a victim, but I have had and seen sleazy bosses act very inappropriately with employees and colleagues and it seems to be considered entirely normal - interactions between men and women in general seem very different in France.
3) Snacks on the run - If you are French you like food. It's a given. It's part of your world, it's an experience, it's somewhat sensual and is not to be treated lightly. Meals are to be well proportioned and contain enough courses or ingredients to satisfy every taste and desire. Meals are to be had, sitting down, at a table and enjoyed. The 'snack on the run' is non-existant. If you are caught eating in the street you are immediately identified as NOT French. I would know, I have (heaven forbid) committed this very crime. On every occasion I have grabbed a bite to eat and started eating as I headed off on my way to do something else I have received countless death stares and comments from my French countrymen. 9 times out of 10 people call out 'Bon Appetit' in a sarcastic and arrogant tone of voice trying to highlight that your behaviour is inappropriate and that you shouldn't being running around doing things whilst eating - you cannot possibly enjoy your meal like that. You are different and need to be shown through a disdainful look that it is not appreciated so that maybe next time you might think twice before scoffing a snack in public. When a French person has things to do in their lunch hour for example, they either eat first and then go off and complete their tasks, or the other way around. The two are not mixed. It is much more acceptable to take a 3 hour lunch than eat on the go. The eating and food ethic rates much higher than the work ethic for the French.
4) Large bathrooms and kitchens - to say that apartments in Paris are small would be an understatement - tiny would even be too kind a word. Most of them, as my friend Sarah correctly identified, should be referred to as cupboards. And if the apartment is small then the chance of a large bathroom or kitchen is impossible. In most apartments the word 'kitchen' is used loosely to refer to a tiny corner with a stove top and a fridge resembling a hotel mini-bar. Ovens, microwaves, benches - these things are luxurious and are written up in advertisements as if they are hard to come across treasures. Bathrooms are often worse, if you in fact have a bathroom and don't have to go outside to a small toilet and take a shower in your living room (as I did in my first apartment).
5) Occupational Health and Safety - I'm convinced that OH & S legislation doesn't exist in France. There are so many safety hazards in the streets, in buildings, in the workplace, and in public places that people just walk-by and don't acknowledge. It is perfectly normal to have an enormous hole in the pavement with no sign, tape or people in sight to warn or explain to you how it got there in the first place. Exposed wires lying about are also normal - in fact pretty much anything goes here.
6) Healthy, non-complaining citizens - I'm sorry to generalise once again but France is the world of the hypocondriac and the complainer. If you are French and have the slightest hint of a sore throat you should head straight to the pharmacy and buy 3 months supply of drugs - and take the week off work, you can never be too careful. And make sure you tell everyone about your illness and complain about how bad it is. In fact while you're at it, complain about everything, afterall things will never improve if you are positive and seem satisfied with something.
7) Exercise/sports gear in public - There is a time and a place for exercise and sports gear and that is not in public. Having read the book 'Almost French' where the author Sarah Turnbull goes through an account of her French husband being horrified when she threw on some tracksuit pants to go to the Boulangerie one morning, I have spent the past year being very careful not to make the same mistake. I recently joined the gym down the street and have continued to be careful with my attire. Whilst it is literally only a 1 minute walk to my gym, I go there looking acceptable and take my exercise gear to change into once I've arrived. However, a couple of weeks ago I made the mistake of exercising right up until the point the gym had to close and not having the time to change back into my public attire. I was a little bit hesitant to go outside but I thought everything would be ok, given that I had less than 100 metres to walk home and that I was wearing adidas track pants and not just any old rubbish, and yet during the 1 minute walk home I passed by 3 people walking in the opposite direction who proceeded to laugh in my face and compliment me on my Dolce and Gabbana clothing choice. So the vicious rumours were true - No exercise gear in public!
8) Good pronunciation of the English language - Ok I know the French are getting better at English and I know they are trying and hell I'm not complaining - my accent in French leaves a lot to be desired - I'm just simply pointing out that good pronunciation of the English language is very rare in France. Find me a French person who can correctly pronounce the words 'idea', 'development', and 'throughout' and I'll give you a medal.
9) Good Asian food - Whilst the French do food well, they do Asian food pretty terribly. I must admit Japanese food seems to be fine - the level of Sushi in Paris is pretty damn great - and I have come across an ok restaurant in China town, but other than that Asian food is on the whole quite crap over here. Chinese 'restaurants' serve you strange dishes with unidentified meat objects that are sitting in a display and are then heated up in a microwave before your very eyes. And don't get me started on Thai - it's been almost 2 years since I've had good Thai - someone help me!
10) Desire to make new friends - French people who are unsatisfied with most things in life seem to be satisfied at least on one level - with the amount of friends that they have. In my experience most of the French seem to have no desire to make new friends. They already have enough and will not go out seeking new ones. If you have a French friend they seem to be yours for life - sincere, supportive, and loyal. Where one comes across these French friends is another question when you are surrounded by people who are happy to be polite, have a chat with you, but will never attempt to contact you again once the night is over. Thank god for the French friends I met in Canada, otherwise I think I would have NONE!
samedi 22 décembre 2007
mardi 11 décembre 2007
Drugged dubbing
| I have a confession to make - today I was sitting at home watching the french version of 'The Nanny' on tv. As I was watching the show I became disturbed by a number of aspects. Firstly - why does 'The Nanny' have to be translated as 'Une nounou d'enfer' which in French means A nanny from hell....why do the French have the right to say that she comes from hell? I understand the need to change the titles of programs and that sometimes during the translation process the title can be significantly altered as direct translation doesn't make sense, but in this case it certainly could have been directly translated as La nounou - why the need to add the hell part...Secondly - the voice of Fran in French is terrible, it's just a relatively normal voice - there's nothing special about it, nothing nasal, the whole annoying aspect of her voice is lost completely! And yet, they keep her English laugh - so she goes from speaking normally in French to a hideous laugh from the original version and it just doesn't work - not even close! But the most disturbing thing of all is the voice of Brighton Sheffield. The man dubbing Brighton clearly has problems, he sounds like he is on drugs. The voice of Grace is almost as bad and is obviously done by an equally stoned woman. But it's not just Brighton and Grace, they are just two of countless examples on French tv. I noticed it at first a few months ago, and since then I have been haunted by my discovery. The voices of children in American and English series are clearly dubbed by adults...and as these adults are trying to recreate the voice of a child, they change their voices in bizarre ways and end up sounding like one of those chipmunks - Alvin, Simon, Theodore! I am convinced that many of them must be on drugs, the voices that they come up with can't be possible from someone who is sober....or at least if it's not drugs, then they must have inhaled a significant amount of helium gas...Who do they think they are? and are French people not disturbed by this as well? Do they not have a problem with the fact that every child sounds like a drugged adult? Surely they must realise! And is it the same in other countries with dubbed tv shows? Is it just a logistical problem that has never confronted those of us from English speaking countries who choose not to dub foreign programs? Afterall, I guess there just aren't enough child actors around - they're all too busy in school. And I suppose the child actors who do exist actually want to act and be on screen and not just in some sound studio providing the voice for some snotty-nosed American kid who's rolling in the cash and the glory. I tried to find some examples for you on Youtube so that you could listen for yourselves and prove my theory right. But unfortunately I can't find a clip from 'une nounou d'enfer' that features little Brighton. Unbelievable I know! So then I looked up '7 à la maison' which translates as 7 at home - doesn't quite have the same ring to it as '7th heaven' does it? there they go with their bloody translation again. But the episodes I found from this show featured the older teenagers, who fortunately are dubbed much better than the kiddies...So you'll have to just trust me on this one and join me in saying NO to drugged dubbing. |
mercredi 5 décembre 2007
Under pressure
Today I connected to my blog to see if I was inspired to write another message, and to my surprise I had apparently received more than 120 hits in 2 days. Now I'm feeling the pressure - there appears to be people actually reading my blog - what do I say to you all? How about some shameless promotion for my company! For those of you with access to France 24 (ie everyone with the internet - which means you!) I suggest you watch it at 1am on Friday morning (7th dec) - that is of course 1am Paris time. The 6th of December marks the 1 year anniversary of France 24 and so it's time to celebrate! We will all be partying with a private concert, djs, world cuisine and surprises (a little bit disturbing) but for the public enjoyment we will be playing the Best of France 24 bloopers after the 1am bulletin (though the exact time is still undecided). I had the pleasure of watching these yesterday and they are great! You should see some of the rubbish that went to air courtesy of us! Quite amusing....
Now that I know I have an audience, I'll try and raise the standard of my posts....although I'm still not convinced that the hit counter is working. I think it's either a) broken b) trying to flatter me as it's christmas or c)my family visiting 20 times a day....
Now that I know I have an audience, I'll try and raise the standard of my posts....although I'm still not convinced that the hit counter is working. I think it's either a) broken b) trying to flatter me as it's christmas or c)my family visiting 20 times a day....
samedi 1 décembre 2007
The Metro
One of the many things that I love about Paris is the metro - that is, when it is actually functioning. Now that the strikes have come to a temporary halt, I feel it is the perfect time to pay tribute to the metro in an attempt to explain what I have been missing out on over these past few weeks. So here are my top 5 reasons to love the metro.1) The MUSIC - I am convinced that most commuters really don't appreciate the standard of music they get on the metro in Paris. Ok it must be said straight up that in Paris, as in any other city, there is of course quite a lot of crappy music and annoying buskers going around who you wish would just shut up and let you read your book or listen to your own music on your ipod, but there are also a lot of really great performers. In my opinion, the standard in general here is much higher. Afterall, to busk at a Paris metro station you have to go through an audition first! My favourite metro station for the music is Châtelet - I love the classical orchestra that is there most days serenading the crowds - I often stop and listen and soak up the awesome acoustics. Please click on the link on the left to see the Châtelet orchestra playing. Then there are the many buskers who play inside the cabins on the train - this can either be dreadful, given that you are in an enclosed space and can't escape, or absolutely great!! I'm always somewhat disturbed by the two young boys on line 2 doing a strip tease/pole dance/ rap show, but they are always entertaining. The best I've seen though (not in the flesh) was shown to me this week on Facebook - I've included a link to this metro performance, a group of guys working their magic on line 1.
2) The frosty atmosphere on board - maybe this is something that only foreigners can really appreciate, but I will never tire of the looks on the faces of Parisians in the metro. All the passengers look like they want to kill themselves - and anyone who doesn't is a tourist, or at least, not Parisian. And if you're smiling, or heaven forbid laughing, then you clearly have something wrong with you and will receive death stares from the other commuters.
3) The accessibility is tops! You really can get anywhere in Paris, with a metro stop on almost every corner, you never have to walk for more than 7 mins to get to a metro station.
4) The frequency - this of course varies depending on the line, but when you're like me and live near line 1, you have a train every 3 minutes! Even on the lines with the least amount of trains running, the maximum wait time is 7 minutes. The downside to this is that you become impatient and find yourself cursing if you have to wait 5 minutes or more.
5) The metro in Paris is one of the easiest transport systems in the world to use - with each line numbered and colour-coded, the only thing left to do is figure out which direction you want to be heading in and voilà, you're on your way.
So stay with us my little metro, no more strikes please!
lundi 26 novembre 2007
And the winner is...
Cold Case!!! And the award is - 'Worst and most inappropriate use of music in a TV series'.
For those of you not familiar with this wonderful series, I advise you to watch it just once (more frequently if you can stomach it) to experience the ridiculous song choice and inappropriate placement of these songs within the program. To be fair, the songs probably sound more out of place in the French dubbed version than in the original, but I'm sure that no matter what language you watch the show in, the music still is surprising - and not in the good sense of the word.
dimanche 25 novembre 2007
November ends nicely
Not only did November have a fantastic beginning, as is usually the case, given that it is the celebration of me coming into this world, but it also had a lovely end (touch wood - it's not over yet...).
The end of November saw the end of the strikes!! YAY! Only fellow Parisians will know exactly what it's like to live through strikes in Paris, but let me tell you it is not enjoyable to put it nicely. Having said that, negotiations are long and continuing so it is highly likely the strikes will come back to haunt us in December, but for the moment we are greeted by trains at metro stations and not by a trainless platform full of aggressive, psychotic commuters who think that they are the ONLY person being affected by the strikes.
The end of November also saw the beginning of my CDI (which for everyone else in the world outside of France just means a full-time, permanent position). That's right, now I am officially an Assistant Producer for France24 - the best source of news and information available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week ;) And being France, I actually have more days off per year than I have working days! Well, given that I work in the middle of the night (11pm til 5.30am) as compensation, I only have to work 15 days (or nights as the case may be) in a month. Add to that my 6 weeks annual holidays and I don't feel like I work very often. But I'm definately not complaining - I work with a great group of people and for the moment, I'm very happy.
And for the icing on the cake, November also ended with Mr. Howard losing the election. Finally I don't have to put up with little Johnny, his crazy ideas and worse still his parachute material tracksuits for his bloody power walking escapades (although I think I prefer the tracksuits to the shorts - see below). We will see how the labor party will go, whether this will be an altogether positive change remains to be seen but at least I can say goodbye to John 'Mr. Extreme' Howard.
vendredi 16 novembre 2007
La Grève à Paris!!!! (Paris Strikes)
There aren't many things that I hate (a very strong word I know) about France, but I would be lying if I said it was the easiest place to live. Inspired by the current transport strike, here is a list of things that frustrate the hell out of me in Paris.
1) Transport strikes!! After spending 2 hours trying to get home from work, crushed against the door of one of the only operating metros in Paris, having to clutch on for my life at each stop when the door would actually open and I would have to miraculously not fall out backwards with the pressure of the crowd of people on top of me, I realised just how much I hate the bloody strikes in Paris!!! I get why they are striking - the government wants to reform the pension system for railway workers, who have ridiculous advantages due to an ancient law based on difficult working conditions faced by these people in the past - and surprise, surprise, the railway workers don't want to lose these advantages. In a country that has such a history of 'power of the people', France loves a good strike. Well you know what? I don't!!! Surely there must come a time when the railway workers realise they have been lucky enough to have it easy for this long and that there is no good reason for them to be able to retire earlier than everyone else given that their line of work is not exactly hard labour. In a city like Sydney, I'm not sure that transport strikes would have as crippling an effect as they do here, given that there are many people who drive to work anyway, and that there is not just one method for getting around (buses, trains, ferries etc). But in Paris, where the metro is the lifeline of the city - it's hell when it doesn't work!
2) French TV - In my opinion French TV is some of the worst in the world!! Yes I haven't watched TV all over the world, but I can certainly tell you that of all the TV that I have watched, the worst has been in France. When I first arrived here, speaking to my students, I found that most French people had what I thought was a 'snobby' attitude - they all turned their noses up at television and said that they only watched if for the occasional film or documentary. I just thought as usual they were trying to be 'intellectual', but after living here for over a year, I now understand my students - the television is bloody terrible. Basically you can watch the news, a bad game show, or a talk show with a bunch of people sitting around giving me their opinion on some rubbish topic. There are no decent series, or dramas - the only things I enjoy watching are dubbed American series - which is saying something!! For further proof, I used to groan when CSI, Law and Order, NCIS etc would come on back home - I think there was a massive overload of these programs and I couldn't handle them anymore, I used to turn off the TV and walk out of the room. Now, I love them - Les experts (CSI) is one of my favourite things to watch - which just goes to show you the extent of crap that is broadcast over here. You frenchies out there feel free to defend yourselves, and point me in the direction of a good french show.
3) Paperwork and administration - a simple task like going to the post office is not a simple task in Paris. It is an ordeal which takes at least an hour, no matter what time of day, what day of the year or which part of Paris you are in. And the amount of paperwork involved in obtaining information, changing your details, or joining an association is just ridiculous. Every administrative action in Paris seems to require not just a form but a 'dossier' (file) which includes about a thousand things.
And that's enough complaining for the moment - any more and I'll turn into a real Parisian (did I mention the complaining nature of the French also annoys the hell out of me sometimes?!)
Here's hoping that the bloody strike ends soon!
mercredi 7 novembre 2007
Joyeux Anniversaire Kate!
In the past week I was lucky enough (I am very spoiled!) to spend time with some great friends from across the globe. To celebrate her birthday on the 2nd of November, Kate flew all the way from Australia to party here in Paris. An Australian coming to Paris is reason enough for a Swede to come as well and for all of us Parisians (or fake Parisians in my case) to make the long trip out to Versailles to catch up with the other Frenchies - and the newest, cutest one of all of them - Arthus.
Impressive Technique
Proud Mother
Swedish Lullaby Queen
And to prove just how great the weekend was, I have the photographic evidence - thanks to an AWESOME birthday present - my very own digital camera....No more stealing other people's photos and passing them off as my own.
et voilà... C'est toujours un plaisir de passer le temps avec les gens de PARADI5E.... a reminder of how lucky I am to have found and kept these people in my life....
dimanche 28 octobre 2007
Coupe du Monde 2007
I had planned to do a recap of the rugby highlights on my blog when the world cup came to an end but little did I know when I was thinking of rugby highlights that Australia would not be involved in them. And so while this summary will be painful, I feel it is necessary to include given that the world cup has been a big part of French life over the past 2 months.
So, all was going well until the 6th of October when Australia played England in the quarter final. The Wallbies, who up until this point had been playing rather well, decided to play a shit match right when it counted and for the second world cup in a row were knocked out by Jonny Wilkinson - once again there were no English tries to be seen. With the aussies out of the running it was time to turn to my home country and support the French. They had a difficult task to come up against - the All Blacks - and everyone in France seemed to doubt that the New Zealanders could be beaten. Fortunately, unlike the Wallabies, the French did me proud and what had begun as a very depressing day turned into one of celebration as New Zealand was knocked out of the competition. It was now up to France to get revenge for me and obliterate England so that I would not have to endure another 4 years of taunts and gloating.
The following week I was paid a visit by the Whitnall brothers, who were understandbly more disappointed than I was by Australia's defeat given that they had tickets to the Semi final - which was now between England and France. While the boys tossed up the idea of whether to go to the match or sell the tickets and make a profit, I headed to the best pub in Paris to watch sport - none other than Cafe Oz. Even though the wallabies were no longer around, this bar was still packed to the brim with sport lovers and you couldn't move once you had made it through the queue and got inside. The atmosphere was incredible and just what you would expect for a world cup rugby match in the host city. This game was possibly more disappointing than the previous week as once again England managed to win and see themselves into another world cup final. All eyes turned to the match the following day to see whether it would be the Springboks or indeed the Pumas to meet (and hopefully beat) the poms. For once in this world cup the result was as expected and the South Africans cemented their place in the final.
Despite my dislike of English sporting teams, I love my English friends and decided it would be only proper to watch the final in a true British pub in Paris - The Frog and British Library. A good night was had by my friends and I as we enjoyed reasonable food and alcohol in a fun crowd and were provided with cheer leading pom poms by the bar staff - however the final was in one word DISAPPOINTING!! Thank christ the English didn't win, yet who could be happy with a final with NO TRIES, as bloody usual, and therefore a kicking match between Prince Charming from Shrek (Percy Montgomery) and Jonny "I go for drop goals even when it is completely inappropriate" Wilkinson.
So my top 5 from this rugby world cup would be;
1) The opening weekend fun with Sophie, Matt, Joel, Jess, Dave, Christian and lots of alcohol
2) Meeting a sexy Pierre whilst watching France v Georgia (I was actually there to watch the Manly Grand Final but what does it matter?)
3) France playing a super game and knocking out those All Blacks
4) The international sporting crowd in the streets of Paris
4) The international sporting crowd in the streets of Paris
5) The English losing!
samedi 27 octobre 2007
Am I masculine or is Michael J.Fox feminine?
So for a bit of fun I went to a celebrity look-alike website - and here is the result
I look like a man!!!
I was a little bit taken aback, however proud to be compared to Michael J.Fox - he is the coolest of the cool - next fancy dress party I'm going as Marty McFly.
I look like a man!!!
I was a little bit taken aback, however proud to be compared to Michael J.Fox - he is the coolest of the cool - next fancy dress party I'm going as Marty McFly.
mercredi 19 septembre 2007
A first ever!
Yesterday I experienced a 'first ever' moment in my life. I had my first ever real fire alarm!! That's right, yesterday at 4.58pm the familiar sound of a fire alarm went off in the offices at work. As normal, we thought it was a fire drill or a false alarm - although we soon realised that they wouldn't do a fire drill 2 mins before the live news bulletin, so it was obviously the latter conclusion - a false alarm. However, as we exited quietly using the fire escape we soon smelt the most pungent stench of smoke. As we walked outside we noticed that there was indeed smoke coming out of the roof of our offices.
The news presenters insisted that there couldn't be a worse time for a fire alarm - there was breaking news of an attack in Lebanon and they were determined to go to air at 5pm - we practically had to drag them kicking and screaming from the set, explaining that the building was in fact on fire, and if they didn't leave, soon they might be the very subject of a new 'breaking news'. Though you have to admire my colleagues dedication and commitment to informing the world.
So, after assembling on the footpath for a while, it became evident that as the fire was in the roof, no one had been injured - very good news! The French fire brigade was surprisingly efficient for a French organisation and quickly put the fire out which meant that within an hour we were back to work. I never thought I'd be annoyed by a fire alarm because I still had things to do in the office and it was interrupting my working day - my God I'm becoming a professional working woman - somebody help me!
The news presenters insisted that there couldn't be a worse time for a fire alarm - there was breaking news of an attack in Lebanon and they were determined to go to air at 5pm - we practically had to drag them kicking and screaming from the set, explaining that the building was in fact on fire, and if they didn't leave, soon they might be the very subject of a new 'breaking news'. Though you have to admire my colleagues dedication and commitment to informing the world.
So, after assembling on the footpath for a while, it became evident that as the fire was in the roof, no one had been injured - very good news! The French fire brigade was surprisingly efficient for a French organisation and quickly put the fire out which meant that within an hour we were back to work. I never thought I'd be annoyed by a fire alarm because I still had things to do in the office and it was interrupting my working day - my God I'm becoming a professional working woman - somebody help me!
J'entends un petit accent
Living in a non-english speaking country means that I hear the sentence 'j'entends un petit accent' several times a month. Literally translated as 'I hear a little accent' this is the polite way of the French asking 'Where the hell do you come from? You are clearly not French!', or in some circumstances it's an attempt at a marvelous pick-up line. Apparently my accent is mignon (cute), charmant (charming) - whatever! I'd prefer not to have an accent and prove to myself that I can speak this language properly. All in good time perhaps. However, if this should never happen, which I'm almost certain it won't, I am quite happy to accept my imperfect French given the fact that I'm NOT French. The thing which is more difficult to accept is the problem people seem to have with my accent in ENGLISH!
So, when I'm speaking English, I'm not one to kick up a fuss if a French person doesn't know where I come from - the fact that they can distinguish the language as English is a big enough step, they don't need to be able to hear the subtle (or glaringly obvious) difference between accents from various english-speaking countries. I was slightly offended when some students guessed that I was from Sweden before suggesting Australia, given that I don't look at all Swedish (unfortunately!) and that the first language of Swedes is of course Swedish and not English. Apparently it doesn't even sound like I'm speaking my mother tongue to some of my students. Moving on though to the other culprits. I am incredibly used to people thinking I'm British, which I guess I can understand - although it's slightly strange when it's coming from a British person - can't they hear that my accent is different to their own? But, what the hell is the world coming to when even Australians can't tell where you're from? That's right, I asked my fellow Australian at work where she came from, to which she replied Australia (no shit sherlock), so then I asked her where exactly, to which she replied Adelaide. Continuing with the niceities, she asked me where I came from, to which I replied Sydney. She then said 'But you're not Australian! You're American!' I couldn't believe it! The nerve of her! And as if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to make things worse by then listening to me speak and highlighting the very words that sounded American to her - talk about digging yourself into a deeper hole. After this lovely incident, the newsreader comes over to me and says that she overheard me speaking to my colleague and that she had never spoken to me as she had assumed I was American (seems some people have strange standards when deciding who to strike up a conversation with), but now that she knew I was Australian she wanted to talk about her 6 year stint in Oz. Incredible!
These are just some of the hundreds of comments I have received about my accent. Others tell me I sound European - one of those mixed up accents that's all in all a bit neutral, some say I sound like I'm from anywhere BUT Australia and then there are those who say I speak English with no accent whatsoever - whatever that sounds like!
And that's only the accent, don't get me started on people telling me my sentence structure, phrasing and word order is all a bit strange!
However, having said that, being surrounded by Australians for the past month has brought back my aussie accent considerably and I don't think there were any complaints from my friends this month about being incomprehensible.
So, when I'm speaking English, I'm not one to kick up a fuss if a French person doesn't know where I come from - the fact that they can distinguish the language as English is a big enough step, they don't need to be able to hear the subtle (or glaringly obvious) difference between accents from various english-speaking countries. I was slightly offended when some students guessed that I was from Sweden before suggesting Australia, given that I don't look at all Swedish (unfortunately!) and that the first language of Swedes is of course Swedish and not English. Apparently it doesn't even sound like I'm speaking my mother tongue to some of my students. Moving on though to the other culprits. I am incredibly used to people thinking I'm British, which I guess I can understand - although it's slightly strange when it's coming from a British person - can't they hear that my accent is different to their own? But, what the hell is the world coming to when even Australians can't tell where you're from? That's right, I asked my fellow Australian at work where she came from, to which she replied Australia (no shit sherlock), so then I asked her where exactly, to which she replied Adelaide. Continuing with the niceities, she asked me where I came from, to which I replied Sydney. She then said 'But you're not Australian! You're American!' I couldn't believe it! The nerve of her! And as if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to make things worse by then listening to me speak and highlighting the very words that sounded American to her - talk about digging yourself into a deeper hole. After this lovely incident, the newsreader comes over to me and says that she overheard me speaking to my colleague and that she had never spoken to me as she had assumed I was American (seems some people have strange standards when deciding who to strike up a conversation with), but now that she knew I was Australian she wanted to talk about her 6 year stint in Oz. Incredible!
These are just some of the hundreds of comments I have received about my accent. Others tell me I sound European - one of those mixed up accents that's all in all a bit neutral, some say I sound like I'm from anywhere BUT Australia and then there are those who say I speak English with no accent whatsoever - whatever that sounds like!
And that's only the accent, don't get me started on people telling me my sentence structure, phrasing and word order is all a bit strange!
However, having said that, being surrounded by Australians for the past month has brought back my aussie accent considerably and I don't think there were any complaints from my friends this month about being incomprehensible.
dimanche 16 septembre 2007
Aussies come to Paris
So where have I been for the past month? Why haven't I blogged? Because the whole world has been coming to visit me in Paris and I haven't had the time to stop and write about it - which is a good thing I think! So, when I say the whole world, maybe this only entitles - Sophie, my aunty, uncle, lucy, jessica, matt, joel, jess and bethaney. But you have to admit - that's a fair number of people within 4 weeks.
I had a great time with everyone and am so pleased that people could come over to visit. It's nice to be reminded of home every now and then. So the family (aunt,uncle and cousins) made a quick stopover in Paris - 2 nights is apparently enough for this great place. We had a fab time, seeing the sights, climbing the sights, eating and catching up. It was a shame it was so short but we certainly packed it full of stuff!
Matt and Joel made a great 4 day trip which was probably filled with as much alcohol as I have drunk since the beginning of this year in Paris. I forget how you aussies drink! Such a different culture, it was a real readjustment to make. Their visit happened to co-incide with the opening of the Rugby world cup (check blog later for all the rugby highlights), so we spent our time cheering on the wallabies in an aussie pub in the centre of Paris. Jess was also able to join us from Reims for the festivities and a good time was had by all.
Christian and the aussie ladies
Sophie, who knows what Paris has to offer, decided to stay for 3 weeks. It was so great to see Soph and to catch up on her life in oz. We had a really nice time and just being around her made me remember so much of what is good about Australia. We also caught up over a coffee and crêpe with Bethaney, which was lovely.
I had a great time with everyone and am so pleased that people could come over to visit. It's nice to be reminded of home every now and then. So the family (aunt,uncle and cousins) made a quick stopover in Paris - 2 nights is apparently enough for this great place. We had a fab time, seeing the sights, climbing the sights, eating and catching up. It was a shame it was so short but we certainly packed it full of stuff!
Matt and Joel made a great 4 day trip which was probably filled with as much alcohol as I have drunk since the beginning of this year in Paris. I forget how you aussies drink! Such a different culture, it was a real readjustment to make. Their visit happened to co-incide with the opening of the Rugby world cup (check blog later for all the rugby highlights), so we spent our time cheering on the wallabies in an aussie pub in the centre of Paris. Jess was also able to join us from Reims for the festivities and a good time was had by all.
Christian and the aussie ladies
Matt, Jess and Joel - Rugby World Cup opener
Sophie, who knows what Paris has to offer, decided to stay for 3 weeks. It was so great to see Soph and to catch up on her life in oz. We had a really nice time and just being around her made me remember so much of what is good about Australia. We also caught up over a coffee and crêpe with Bethaney, which was lovely.
Sophie and I (the day she bought Chanel - ooh la la)
Lunch in Soph's fave district - the Marais
Picnic in the gardens of Château de Versailles (hands off Marie-Antoinette - they're for us!)
Soph's birthday - midnight outside the eiffel tower (we are so romantic!)
So all in all, a great month! Looking forward to seeing more of you guys in October and November.
dimanche 19 août 2007
Please Explain
I learnt something yesterday that needs explaining...
I was giving an English ''lesson'' (I was eating an amazing lunch, being spoilt, chatting and getting paid) at a student's home when she asked me if I could explain an English term she saw in a book she was reading. Of course, being the teacher, I was pleased to help her, and hoped that it wasn't some obscure word that I would have trouble explaining. When she showed me the book, it was none other than the abbreviation RSVP. Now for those of you who don't know (I'm hoping most of you do!), RSVP stands for Répondez s'il vous plaît - which is French for Please reply....So can someone tell me why in English we use a French abbreviation, when it doesn't even exist in France?!!
I was giving an English ''lesson'' (I was eating an amazing lunch, being spoilt, chatting and getting paid) at a student's home when she asked me if I could explain an English term she saw in a book she was reading. Of course, being the teacher, I was pleased to help her, and hoped that it wasn't some obscure word that I would have trouble explaining. When she showed me the book, it was none other than the abbreviation RSVP. Now for those of you who don't know (I'm hoping most of you do!), RSVP stands for Répondez s'il vous plaît - which is French for Please reply....So can someone tell me why in English we use a French abbreviation, when it doesn't even exist in France?!!
Paris in August
5 Things you should know about Paris in August
1) Ghost city - Paris is a complete ghost city in August as all the Parisians leave the city for the entire month to go on their summer holidays in the countryside. Everything is closed and there are no French people around....It is not unusual for the Boulangeries (who needs bread anyway?), restaurants, bars, hair dressers etc to be closed for 4 weeks whilst the owners are lounging around in the sunshine somewhere...
2) Tourist central - To make up for the complete lack of Parisians, the city is covered in tourists and you begin to forget that you are in France, as the national language becomes English for the month.
3) Sleazing season - As I've told you all before, Paris isn't the nicest city for a single girl, unless you are permanently in the company of others, because if you are alone and female you are often harrassed....but August is a joke - it's peak sleazing season! For example, last Friday after finishing work late I caught a taxi home. My taxi driver kept insisting on taking me for a coffee before dropping me home. I told him about 35 times that I didn't want a bloody coffee, I only wanted to GO HOME, and that this was actually a simple request and the definition of his job was to respond to such requests and take people to the destination of their choice (that being my home). In the end, he finally agreed to take me home, and after I refused to give him my number, he wouldn't let me get out of the taxi before giving me his number - as if I'm ever going to call you Jean-Louis - you bloody Psycho! And the very next day I had 3 guys walk past me in the street and stop to tell me I had beautiful eyes - now I know my eyes are stunning ;) but come on!
4) Crappy weather - I am one to accept, even expect, crappy weather in August when I'm in Sydney and it is in fact Winter, but when in Paris, where it is summer, this is frankly unacceptable. Last August it rained for 24 days, and this August the skies are competing to try and break this record. An umbrella shouldn't be a necessity in the middle of summer!
5) Festivals galore - August is the month of festivals and activities in Paris, to give those of us who stay around something to do, and all the tourists something to smile about (given that the restaurants and boulangeries are closed). This year the Quartier d'été festival had an Australian theme and there were nights of Australian cinema, music and didgeridoo playing - unfortunately this happened to co-incide with my only week of holidays and so I missed it all, but I'm sure it would have been good. There are also of course a few open-air cinemas (all of which are fabulous in the month of constant RAIN!) and then who could forget to mention the magnificent Paris Plage! That's right - an artificial beach in Paris for August - what a fabulous idea! The only problem with this little brain wave is that someone forgot to tell the Parisians that a beach actually consists of sand, the ocean, waves, and hopefully swimming. Apparently they define a beach by the presence of long deck chairs, the possibility of stripping down to your bikini, and a body of water of some sort (that being the Seine river). Now just because its called a beach, don't get any crazy ideas and try jumping into the Seine to go swimming - you'd die from all the pollution!
All I can say is BRING ON SEPTEMBER!
1) Ghost city - Paris is a complete ghost city in August as all the Parisians leave the city for the entire month to go on their summer holidays in the countryside. Everything is closed and there are no French people around....It is not unusual for the Boulangeries (who needs bread anyway?), restaurants, bars, hair dressers etc to be closed for 4 weeks whilst the owners are lounging around in the sunshine somewhere...
2) Tourist central - To make up for the complete lack of Parisians, the city is covered in tourists and you begin to forget that you are in France, as the national language becomes English for the month.
3) Sleazing season - As I've told you all before, Paris isn't the nicest city for a single girl, unless you are permanently in the company of others, because if you are alone and female you are often harrassed....but August is a joke - it's peak sleazing season! For example, last Friday after finishing work late I caught a taxi home. My taxi driver kept insisting on taking me for a coffee before dropping me home. I told him about 35 times that I didn't want a bloody coffee, I only wanted to GO HOME, and that this was actually a simple request and the definition of his job was to respond to such requests and take people to the destination of their choice (that being my home). In the end, he finally agreed to take me home, and after I refused to give him my number, he wouldn't let me get out of the taxi before giving me his number - as if I'm ever going to call you Jean-Louis - you bloody Psycho! And the very next day I had 3 guys walk past me in the street and stop to tell me I had beautiful eyes - now I know my eyes are stunning ;) but come on!
4) Crappy weather - I am one to accept, even expect, crappy weather in August when I'm in Sydney and it is in fact Winter, but when in Paris, where it is summer, this is frankly unacceptable. Last August it rained for 24 days, and this August the skies are competing to try and break this record. An umbrella shouldn't be a necessity in the middle of summer!
5) Festivals galore - August is the month of festivals and activities in Paris, to give those of us who stay around something to do, and all the tourists something to smile about (given that the restaurants and boulangeries are closed). This year the Quartier d'été festival had an Australian theme and there were nights of Australian cinema, music and didgeridoo playing - unfortunately this happened to co-incide with my only week of holidays and so I missed it all, but I'm sure it would have been good. There are also of course a few open-air cinemas (all of which are fabulous in the month of constant RAIN!) and then who could forget to mention the magnificent Paris Plage! That's right - an artificial beach in Paris for August - what a fabulous idea! The only problem with this little brain wave is that someone forgot to tell the Parisians that a beach actually consists of sand, the ocean, waves, and hopefully swimming. Apparently they define a beach by the presence of long deck chairs, the possibility of stripping down to your bikini, and a body of water of some sort (that being the Seine river). Now just because its called a beach, don't get any crazy ideas and try jumping into the Seine to go swimming - you'd die from all the pollution!
All I can say is BRING ON SEPTEMBER!
dimanche 12 août 2007
How's your general knowledge?
So one of the interesting* features of working for a world news TV station is that everyday is a general knowledge quiz of some sort. Now I'm not one to say no to a bit of trivia every now and then (as long as it involves questions on early nineties music, useless celebrity gossip from 10 years ago, or sporting events that Australia has won) but lets just say that middle eastern cities, and world leaders are not my forté.
Belonging to the generation of NSW students who only had to do one year of history and geography in highschool (anything more was the student's choice), I was one of those wise students who chose to do the absolute minimum and hence finished geography at the age of 14 and history at 15. I decided to choose subjects like music, textiles and French instead. This means that I have quite a crap background in geography and history- quiz me on countries i have travelled to, the aboriginal people, or Captain Arthur Phillip and I'm your girl - but if you're looking for a broader, more detailed knowledge of the history and politics of numerous countries, then unfortunately I'm probably not the best person to ask.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a dumb ass, I have a fair idea of what is going on in the world, but I'm definitely not up there on remote cities, or foreign politicians.
Fortunately, during my 2 interviews for the position that I currently hold, both interviewers told me they would come to the general knowledge quiz at the end of the interview and conveniently for me, they forgot. I like to think it was due to my completely calm and confident expression which gave off the 'don't even waste your time testing me on my immaculate general knowledge' impression, even if on the inside, I was kicking myself for never being home to watch the news, not owning a radio, and not having bought a newspaper since arriving in France over a year ago.
I soon recognised the problem in my first week when I was asked how to spell 'Tyre' in French. My initial reaction was to ask why we were doing a story on an uninteresting topic like tyres, but then something told me to check wikipedia just in case there happened to be other forms of tyres I wasn't aware of. This turned out to be a good plan of action when I read that Tyre, as well as being something found on the outer part of a wheel, is in fact a city in Lebanon - and the French spelling is 'Tyr'. Without exposing my ignorance I was able to reply in a matter of minutes with the correct French spelling - very professional of me I know. This however was only the first of many close calls that I have since experienced. Everyday I pretend as if I know exactly what everyone is talking about and so far no one has found me out. Fortunately I have a good memory and so my plan is to continue to bluff for the next few weeks and hopefully by then I will have learnt most of the foreign cities and politicians names in both English and French and no one will ever know of my early days of shame. Having said that, if anyone wants to help me out with a list of remote cities, a detailed world map, or a list of foreign politicians with spelling and pronunciation included, feel free!
*the word 'interesting' can equally be replaced by 'stressful', 'disturbing', 'worrying', 'exciting' or anything else that might take your fancy...
Belonging to the generation of NSW students who only had to do one year of history and geography in highschool (anything more was the student's choice), I was one of those wise students who chose to do the absolute minimum and hence finished geography at the age of 14 and history at 15. I decided to choose subjects like music, textiles and French instead. This means that I have quite a crap background in geography and history- quiz me on countries i have travelled to, the aboriginal people, or Captain Arthur Phillip and I'm your girl - but if you're looking for a broader, more detailed knowledge of the history and politics of numerous countries, then unfortunately I'm probably not the best person to ask.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a dumb ass, I have a fair idea of what is going on in the world, but I'm definitely not up there on remote cities, or foreign politicians.
Fortunately, during my 2 interviews for the position that I currently hold, both interviewers told me they would come to the general knowledge quiz at the end of the interview and conveniently for me, they forgot. I like to think it was due to my completely calm and confident expression which gave off the 'don't even waste your time testing me on my immaculate general knowledge' impression, even if on the inside, I was kicking myself for never being home to watch the news, not owning a radio, and not having bought a newspaper since arriving in France over a year ago.
I soon recognised the problem in my first week when I was asked how to spell 'Tyre' in French. My initial reaction was to ask why we were doing a story on an uninteresting topic like tyres, but then something told me to check wikipedia just in case there happened to be other forms of tyres I wasn't aware of. This turned out to be a good plan of action when I read that Tyre, as well as being something found on the outer part of a wheel, is in fact a city in Lebanon - and the French spelling is 'Tyr'. Without exposing my ignorance I was able to reply in a matter of minutes with the correct French spelling - very professional of me I know. This however was only the first of many close calls that I have since experienced. Everyday I pretend as if I know exactly what everyone is talking about and so far no one has found me out. Fortunately I have a good memory and so my plan is to continue to bluff for the next few weeks and hopefully by then I will have learnt most of the foreign cities and politicians names in both English and French and no one will ever know of my early days of shame. Having said that, if anyone wants to help me out with a list of remote cities, a detailed world map, or a list of foreign politicians with spelling and pronunciation included, feel free!
*the word 'interesting' can equally be replaced by 'stressful', 'disturbing', 'worrying', 'exciting' or anything else that might take your fancy...
mardi 7 août 2007
Une semaine à la campagne
Last week I stepped outside Paris and went somewhere else in France for the first time since I arrived here last year - I know I'm hopeless - France is the country I have seen the least and I live here! Anyway, I went with some friends to a small town called Nogent-le-Rotrou in an area called Le Perche, which is about an hour and a half south-west of Paris.
I had a fantastic time doing absolutely nothing!! Its been a long time since I have been able to just relax and laze about. It was a week of sunshine, food, drink, french and english lessons, setting lawn mowers on fire, more food, cards, music, badminton, more food, friends, good times, reading and did I mention food? Florence and Matthieu are amazing cooks and I was spoilt all week with incredible meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.
There were 4 of us who stayed in my friend Florence's country house.
I had a fantastic time doing absolutely nothing!! Its been a long time since I have been able to just relax and laze about. It was a week of sunshine, food, drink, french and english lessons, setting lawn mowers on fire, more food, cards, music, badminton, more food, friends, good times, reading and did I mention food? Florence and Matthieu are amazing cooks and I was spoilt all week with incredible meals for breakfast lunch and dinner.
The meals were the tastiest ever because they were made with fruit and veggies from the garden.
Although, when the gas ran out on the last night, we had to use the fireplace as a makeshift BBQ - it took a long time but the food tasted great!!
When we weren't eating (a rare event) it was nice to just breathe in the fresh country air, remember that stars do in fact exist (not in Paris people) and admire the view of the endless wheat fields.
It really was a heavenly week! I'm looking forward to going again within the year.
lundi 23 juillet 2007
The Swedes hit Paris
Ma vie parisienne was particularly fabulous last week! I had the pleasure of a wonderful visit from Lisa and Patrik - my favourite Swedes!!! It was great catching up and spending some time falling in love with this city all over again. The arrival of Lisa and Patrik meant that the Toronto group came back into force - starting with a trip to Versailles to visit Ombeline (she's not pregnant she's just fat ;) and Charles.
Ok.....maybe she is pregnant
When you visit Ombeline you are always guaranteed a fabulous meal and this time she definately didn't let us down! Just the usual - apero, drinks, main course, cheese, dessert, coffee - the works!
Then on Friday night it was time to enjoy some more French cuisine in a little restaurant in the 5th - once again smaskens!
The boys looked good.....
The girls looked better....
Lisa even ate a snail!...
Which looked like this before she ate it.....
Then we had a drink outside in Rue Mouffetard
Before we knew it, the weekend had come along and so had the 14th of July - Bastille Day! or as it is more widely known - OLIVIER'S BIRTHDAY! I spent the day with Lisa and Patrik soaking up Montmartre and the Sacre Coeur in the sunshine. Then we moved on to Christian's apartment for the evening entertainment.
We watched the lovely fireworks on Pont Mirabeau...
Although we were lovelier than the fireworks!Then we went for a romantic evening stroll along the Seine - always a pleasure - Paris really is the most beautiful city in the world, and it's even more incredible at night.
Sunday was another wonderful day of sunshine - we wandered around the Marais area, checked out Ile St-Louis, had a picnic by the Eiffel Tower and went on a cruise on the Seine - I don't think I will ever tire of the beauty of this place!
Lisa and I (Ile St-Louis) with Notre Dame behind us
Thanks so much to Lisa and Patrik for coming - you better be back soon!
mardi 10 juillet 2007
Le ou la - n'importe quoi! *
So it seems that I am destined to always make mistakes with gender when speaking French. When every bloody object is either masculine or feminine it's difficult to be able to learn them all par coeur. I have been assured by both French and non-french alike that no matter how long I live here, I will always make gender mistakes - it's not very reassuring news, but I'm sure they are all right.
Unfortunately, there seems to be no easy rule which you can apply to know if an object is masculine or feminine - it's just something you know, or in my case, don't know. Apparently the way a word is spelt can help you, there are certain endings of words which can indicate if something is masculine or feminine - however as usual, there are many exceptions. My own rule, which I'd advise you to use with caution, is to say whatever comes out of your mouth and hope that no one is paying attention. Afterall, using logic is not an option, as it has nothing to do with logic. Let's take the example of a vagina (MASCULINE - un vagin) and a dick (FEMININE - une bite)**. You can try and explain this to me Frenchies, mais je sais qu'on a tous des problèmes...
So, as I see it there seems to be two options - accept that I will always make these mistakes and not worry about them, or speak English - the genderless language!!! Heureusement, je préfère d'accepter que je ferai des erreurs avec le/la genre que parler en anglais tout le temps.
*Note to non-french speakers - this title rhymes (didn't want you to miss the full effect)
**Mia Jones - a young lady learning and sharing all of the most important things in France!
Unfortunately, there seems to be no easy rule which you can apply to know if an object is masculine or feminine - it's just something you know, or in my case, don't know. Apparently the way a word is spelt can help you, there are certain endings of words which can indicate if something is masculine or feminine - however as usual, there are many exceptions. My own rule, which I'd advise you to use with caution, is to say whatever comes out of your mouth and hope that no one is paying attention. Afterall, using logic is not an option, as it has nothing to do with logic. Let's take the example of a vagina (MASCULINE - un vagin) and a dick (FEMININE - une bite)**. You can try and explain this to me Frenchies, mais je sais qu'on a tous des problèmes...
So, as I see it there seems to be two options - accept that I will always make these mistakes and not worry about them, or speak English - the genderless language!!! Heureusement, je préfère d'accepter que je ferai des erreurs avec le/la genre que parler en anglais tout le temps.
*Note to non-french speakers - this title rhymes (didn't want you to miss the full effect)
**Mia Jones - a young lady learning and sharing all of the most important things in France!
dimanche 1 juillet 2007
Mr. Potential 2007
Many people seem to think that the life of an English teacher in Paris is one full of potential dating opportunities. In the world of teaching English to business professionals, one would think that we come into contact with new students every week - business men who are polite, educated, funny and just dying to get to know their English teacher on a more personal level - its a lovely concept in theory - but it is entirely WRONG! All of my students are either;
a) female - thanks but no thanks;
b) 50 - they say age isn't a barrier - I say it is;
c) boring - the MOST boring people in the world learn english;
d) french - in all the WRONG ways;
e) married - not a good idea;
f) obsessed with their girlfriends - I don't want to hear about it or;
g) ugly - I shouldn't be superficial, but i have SOME standards!
So, aside from the fact that it might not be the wisest idea to have a teacher/student relationship outside of the classroom, when the students fit into the above list, it's not even something worth considering. That was of course until June 26, when Mr. Potential 2007 walked into my school.
Mr. Potential 2007 was a breath of fresh air in my working week - someone I never expected to see in my time as an English teacher - someone who could be given a number of pseudonyms;
1) Mr. Hot
2) Mr. Funny
3) Mr. Intelligent
4) Mr. Interesting
5) Mr. Multilingual
6) Mr. Well dressed
7) Mr. Experienced...
In fact, the list could keep going - which is why I prefer to call him simply Mr. Potential 2007...
On Tuesday I had the pleasure of what we in the industry call the 'restaurant class' - a phenomenal concept where you get paid a teaching rate to go to a fancy restaurant with a student so that they can practise the skill of just making social chit-chat - basically you get paid to eat. There are some people who find these classes horrible - they don't like having lunch and talking on a more personal level with students who fit into the aforementioned categories - they would rather just get a sandwich and eat it with people they like. I, on the other hand, have no problem with being paid to eat in a restaurant that i would never be able to afford on my own. So last Tuesday I arrived at work a couple of minutes late for my restaurant class - no need to rush for my boring, ugly, old man I thought - and thats when it happened - I was introduced to my lunch date - Mr. Potential 2007!
Lunch was fantastic - not only was I seated opposite a stunningly attractive man, who was very well dressed, eating good food and getting paid for it, but the man was interesting and funny as well. He had lived in England, Brazil, Rome and of course France and so was fluent in English, Portuguese, Italian and French. He assured me that English was the worst of his languages - which I found hard to believe, considering that he was fluent (there are some people we teach who speak english better than us - nobody understands why they are taking lessons - well done sales people is all I can say).
After lunch I was lucky enough to have another 2 and a half hours of class with him - which went by smoothly, despite my lack of preparation - If I had known the lesson was with Mr. Potential 2007, I would have prepared for it more (is that wrong? - the idea of giving good looking people a better class - not my use of the 3rd conditional which is clearly correct - look it up English speakers).
That afternoon I finished the class and went to the teachers room, where I was clearly envied by all the young female teachers, who like me, had begun to think that hot men didn't exist in the realm of language training. It was time to prepare for my Wednesday classes - one of which was with none other than Mr. Potential 2007.
On Wednesday I woke up feeling a little bit sick, which was strangely sudden and unappreciated. It was nothing too drastic though, so I got ready for work and made myself look glamourous. The morning classes went by slowly, and with each hour that passed I began to feel worse - how bloody unfair!! By the time my afternoon class with Mr. Potential 2007 came round, i felt like shit and looked even worse. But I wasn't going to give up this opportunity - my last class with Mr. Potential 2007 (unfortunately he was taking a one-week intensive program, and I only had 6 hours out of the 35 - although fortunately for me the other 29 hours were with male teachers). I spent the 2 hour lesson blowing my nose (i finished a packet of tissues), feeling awful and apologising for my sickness. At the end of it all, we wished each other well and he told me to go home and get some rest.
I spent Thursday and Friday at home either in bed or throwing up. So, I never even got to go to work and admire Mr. Potential 2007 from afar.
I have since googled him - but with no success - it seems all potential has been lost - I knew it was too good to be true.
a) female - thanks but no thanks;
b) 50 - they say age isn't a barrier - I say it is;
c) boring - the MOST boring people in the world learn english;
d) french - in all the WRONG ways;
e) married - not a good idea;
f) obsessed with their girlfriends - I don't want to hear about it or;
g) ugly - I shouldn't be superficial, but i have SOME standards!
So, aside from the fact that it might not be the wisest idea to have a teacher/student relationship outside of the classroom, when the students fit into the above list, it's not even something worth considering. That was of course until June 26, when Mr. Potential 2007 walked into my school.
Mr. Potential 2007 was a breath of fresh air in my working week - someone I never expected to see in my time as an English teacher - someone who could be given a number of pseudonyms;
1) Mr. Hot
2) Mr. Funny
3) Mr. Intelligent
4) Mr. Interesting
5) Mr. Multilingual
6) Mr. Well dressed
7) Mr. Experienced...
In fact, the list could keep going - which is why I prefer to call him simply Mr. Potential 2007...
On Tuesday I had the pleasure of what we in the industry call the 'restaurant class' - a phenomenal concept where you get paid a teaching rate to go to a fancy restaurant with a student so that they can practise the skill of just making social chit-chat - basically you get paid to eat. There are some people who find these classes horrible - they don't like having lunch and talking on a more personal level with students who fit into the aforementioned categories - they would rather just get a sandwich and eat it with people they like. I, on the other hand, have no problem with being paid to eat in a restaurant that i would never be able to afford on my own. So last Tuesday I arrived at work a couple of minutes late for my restaurant class - no need to rush for my boring, ugly, old man I thought - and thats when it happened - I was introduced to my lunch date - Mr. Potential 2007!
Lunch was fantastic - not only was I seated opposite a stunningly attractive man, who was very well dressed, eating good food and getting paid for it, but the man was interesting and funny as well. He had lived in England, Brazil, Rome and of course France and so was fluent in English, Portuguese, Italian and French. He assured me that English was the worst of his languages - which I found hard to believe, considering that he was fluent (there are some people we teach who speak english better than us - nobody understands why they are taking lessons - well done sales people is all I can say).
After lunch I was lucky enough to have another 2 and a half hours of class with him - which went by smoothly, despite my lack of preparation - If I had known the lesson was with Mr. Potential 2007, I would have prepared for it more (is that wrong? - the idea of giving good looking people a better class - not my use of the 3rd conditional which is clearly correct - look it up English speakers).
That afternoon I finished the class and went to the teachers room, where I was clearly envied by all the young female teachers, who like me, had begun to think that hot men didn't exist in the realm of language training. It was time to prepare for my Wednesday classes - one of which was with none other than Mr. Potential 2007.
On Wednesday I woke up feeling a little bit sick, which was strangely sudden and unappreciated. It was nothing too drastic though, so I got ready for work and made myself look glamourous. The morning classes went by slowly, and with each hour that passed I began to feel worse - how bloody unfair!! By the time my afternoon class with Mr. Potential 2007 came round, i felt like shit and looked even worse. But I wasn't going to give up this opportunity - my last class with Mr. Potential 2007 (unfortunately he was taking a one-week intensive program, and I only had 6 hours out of the 35 - although fortunately for me the other 29 hours were with male teachers). I spent the 2 hour lesson blowing my nose (i finished a packet of tissues), feeling awful and apologising for my sickness. At the end of it all, we wished each other well and he told me to go home and get some rest.
I spent Thursday and Friday at home either in bed or throwing up. So, I never even got to go to work and admire Mr. Potential 2007 from afar.
I have since googled him - but with no success - it seems all potential has been lost - I knew it was too good to be true.
jeudi 28 juin 2007
Music Music Music
The past week for me has been one full of music - which is always a good thing!
It started last Wednesday when one of my students asked me to babysit for her - given the tragic state of my bank account I decided that indeed it would be a good idea to accept this opportunity to take home some cash in hand. What I didn't realise when I accepted to do this was that this particular student is the proud owner of a beautiful piano and that I would be allowed to play it whilst sitting on the baby (sorry Margaux - hope i wasn't too heavy). So, Wednesday was the first time I played piano since leaving good ol' oz almost 13 months ago - believe me I had missed it! Although, being Paris, where everybody lives in apartments and walls are paper thin, I was forced to play with the pedal on non-stop to quieten the sound coming out - not quite the same bashing of the keys that used to happen in Allambie Heights - but it was great all the same.
Thursday night was none other than the Fête de la musique which co-incides with the longest day of the year and the first day of summer (thats right - these weirdos over here start the seasons on the 21st of the month - whatever!). The Fête de la musique is as the name suggests a celebration of music. What this means is that the whole city is overtaken by music and that anywhere you go you will find people singing and playing in every kind of musical style you can imagine. For me, this night was also the birthday of a friend from work, and so we began the night on the Champs de Mars - the grassy area in front of the Eiffel Tower - with a lovely picnic. My roomie provided the music for this occassion as she brought along her guitar and sang us a few tunes. At about midnight we decided it was time to move on, so we headed to St Michel to go to a bar. The night was a bit crazy - the streets were full of 14 year old drunkards, who were so excited to have an excuse to be out at all hours of the evening. And of course, being France, the night wouldn't have been complete without public nudity - we were lucky enough to witness a guy who climbed to the top of the fountain at St Michel and then proceeded to strip and remain starkers whilst he admired the view from the incredible height he had climbed to - formidable!
By Saturday night I was ready for my next taste of music - this time in the form of a concert. So Christian, Olivier, Laurence, Delphine and I headed off to Le Trabendo (nice intimate venue - think the metro in sydney, but in a round set-up) to see Au revoir Simone. Despite the French name, this band is actually a group of 3 girls from New York playing indie tunes. As I didn't know the band very well - I was sent the music the night before and spent all day Saturday trying to become aquainted with it before the concert - I went into the gig with no expectations and I was very pleasantly surprised. The songs were great and played with such energy that there was a real positive atmosphere in the room. Very enjoyable! For those of you fluent in french, you should check out the link to Owen Noone and read the review 'it's saturday night and I don't want to go out' because it paints a great picture of the evening. After the set the girls were nice enough to join the crowd and speak to everyone. So as the boys amused themselves having photos and asking the ladies if they were engaged, I stood back and admired the band who were not only undeniably beautiful, but talented as well - hats off ladies.
It started last Wednesday when one of my students asked me to babysit for her - given the tragic state of my bank account I decided that indeed it would be a good idea to accept this opportunity to take home some cash in hand. What I didn't realise when I accepted to do this was that this particular student is the proud owner of a beautiful piano and that I would be allowed to play it whilst sitting on the baby (sorry Margaux - hope i wasn't too heavy). So, Wednesday was the first time I played piano since leaving good ol' oz almost 13 months ago - believe me I had missed it! Although, being Paris, where everybody lives in apartments and walls are paper thin, I was forced to play with the pedal on non-stop to quieten the sound coming out - not quite the same bashing of the keys that used to happen in Allambie Heights - but it was great all the same.
Thursday night was none other than the Fête de la musique which co-incides with the longest day of the year and the first day of summer (thats right - these weirdos over here start the seasons on the 21st of the month - whatever!). The Fête de la musique is as the name suggests a celebration of music. What this means is that the whole city is overtaken by music and that anywhere you go you will find people singing and playing in every kind of musical style you can imagine. For me, this night was also the birthday of a friend from work, and so we began the night on the Champs de Mars - the grassy area in front of the Eiffel Tower - with a lovely picnic. My roomie provided the music for this occassion as she brought along her guitar and sang us a few tunes. At about midnight we decided it was time to move on, so we headed to St Michel to go to a bar. The night was a bit crazy - the streets were full of 14 year old drunkards, who were so excited to have an excuse to be out at all hours of the evening. And of course, being France, the night wouldn't have been complete without public nudity - we were lucky enough to witness a guy who climbed to the top of the fountain at St Michel and then proceeded to strip and remain starkers whilst he admired the view from the incredible height he had climbed to - formidable!
By Saturday night I was ready for my next taste of music - this time in the form of a concert. So Christian, Olivier, Laurence, Delphine and I headed off to Le Trabendo (nice intimate venue - think the metro in sydney, but in a round set-up) to see Au revoir Simone. Despite the French name, this band is actually a group of 3 girls from New York playing indie tunes. As I didn't know the band very well - I was sent the music the night before and spent all day Saturday trying to become aquainted with it before the concert - I went into the gig with no expectations and I was very pleasantly surprised. The songs were great and played with such energy that there was a real positive atmosphere in the room. Very enjoyable! For those of you fluent in french, you should check out the link to Owen Noone and read the review 'it's saturday night and I don't want to go out' because it paints a great picture of the evening. After the set the girls were nice enough to join the crowd and speak to everyone. So as the boys amused themselves having photos and asking the ladies if they were engaged, I stood back and admired the band who were not only undeniably beautiful, but talented as well - hats off ladies.
dimanche 10 juin 2007
The Language Phenomenon
The language phenomenon is a particularly bizarre experience which happens when you move abroad and begin to live in another language....You may be under the false impression that moving to another country with another language means that you become bilingual very quickly - possessing a worthwhile skill of being able to make yourself understood in 2 languages...In fact it is the opposite - you become shit in both languages!!! - It's not just me I swear! In my french/english case I can report the following observations;
1) The experience of being surrounded by french means that your expressions in english become direct translations of french phrases or that you begin using the syntax of a french sentence when you are constructing sentences in english - it results in gold sentences like the one that my roomie used when she called her Irish friend and didn't get through to her but got her answering machine - she started the message with " Oh what a shame, I fell on your answering machine" - which as I'm sure you're aware doesn't make any sense in english....
2) Teaching english everyday and constantly hearing the same mistakes because a student applies the "french way of thinking and speaking" to the english language doesn't help at all - you hear the mistakes so often that after a while they sound normal to you and you begin speaking like your students - saying things like - I don't want to give a course - instead of - I don't feel like teaching....
3) Being surrounded by french also means that there are a number of english words that you "lose" - you know the words that are used in everyday expressions, or words that your students need to use all the time - but words that are not used everyday - something the tiniest bit obscure - you forget - a student asks 'how do you say "......" in english?' - and you realise that whilst you understand the french word and know what they are saying - you have forgotten the english translation...
4) Speaking english everyday at work means that you cannot escape your mother tongue and that you find yourself trying to translate english expressions or using english syntax in your construction of a french sentence...
In the end it is a vicious cycle - your french influences your english and your english influences your french and you can't make yourself understood to anyone - you begin to sound like a retard in all circumstances....sorry to spoil the bilingual dream! - and don't even get me started on spelling - that's even worse - is this even how you spell "phenomenon"??? - somebody help me!
1) The experience of being surrounded by french means that your expressions in english become direct translations of french phrases or that you begin using the syntax of a french sentence when you are constructing sentences in english - it results in gold sentences like the one that my roomie used when she called her Irish friend and didn't get through to her but got her answering machine - she started the message with " Oh what a shame, I fell on your answering machine" - which as I'm sure you're aware doesn't make any sense in english....
2) Teaching english everyday and constantly hearing the same mistakes because a student applies the "french way of thinking and speaking" to the english language doesn't help at all - you hear the mistakes so often that after a while they sound normal to you and you begin speaking like your students - saying things like - I don't want to give a course - instead of - I don't feel like teaching....
3) Being surrounded by french also means that there are a number of english words that you "lose" - you know the words that are used in everyday expressions, or words that your students need to use all the time - but words that are not used everyday - something the tiniest bit obscure - you forget - a student asks 'how do you say "......" in english?' - and you realise that whilst you understand the french word and know what they are saying - you have forgotten the english translation...
4) Speaking english everyday at work means that you cannot escape your mother tongue and that you find yourself trying to translate english expressions or using english syntax in your construction of a french sentence...
In the end it is a vicious cycle - your french influences your english and your english influences your french and you can't make yourself understood to anyone - you begin to sound like a retard in all circumstances....sorry to spoil the bilingual dream! - and don't even get me started on spelling - that's even worse - is this even how you spell "phenomenon"??? - somebody help me!
dimanche 3 juin 2007
Musée d'Orsay
Aujourd'hui je suis allée au Musée d'Orsay (la quatrième fois depuis Août!) avec Guéna et Olivier (la première fois avec eux et un plan français). C'était bien mais il n'y a pas grand-chose qui a changé depuis la dernière fois...Mais l'endroit n'est pas très important parce que c'est toujours un plaisir passer l'après-midi avec Guéna et Olivier - n'importe où! On s'est baladé un peu aussi et Guéna s'est amusée avec mon appareil-photo...
Moi et Guéna sur la terrasse au Musée d'Orsay
Guéna et Olivier sur le pont
Moi et Olivier dans le jardin des Tuileriesvendredi 1 juin 2007
The customer is always WRONG...and should be assaulted
Tonight I had a great time with my aussie friend Mia...We began the evening in Mia's apartment, looking out the window onto the fabulous eiffel tower while eating chocolate, cherries and drinking red wine...after a few hours of this, we decided that we couldn't possibly eat chocolate for dinner and that we must head out and about in search of the finest in french cuisine - which led us of course to Mcdonalds!! Ok, so maybe its not french cuisine - but it was all we could find open for dinner at 11pm...
The fun began with a confusing few minutes spent ordering - Mia ordered fries and a filet-o-fish but no drink (pas de boisson!) but the guy thought she said "pas de poisson" - here was our first problem - boisson (drink) and poisson (fish) sound remarkably similar - but the poor guy was trying to work out why she wanted a filet-o-fish with no fish.....until we explained that she had said boisson and not poisson and that she just didn't want a drink....first complication over!
Then, as we were quietly seated in Mcdonalds luxury we suddenly heard a large crashing sound. As we looked up we noticed that it was nothing more than a chair which had been knocked, tumbling down the stairs...we looked over to the culprit who looked slightly embarrassed - poor guy we thought - it was a bit embarrassing...but what we didn't realise was that the act of him knocking a chair down the stairs was obviously a gross insult and offensive act to those working at Mcdonalds - the manager on dining room and the manager in the kitchen came running over to see what all the noise was about and made a human wall at the bottom of the stairs to block him from leaving the store...as he came down the stairs to try to leave, the managers started yelling abuse at him - as the guy tried to assure the management that he hadn't done it on purpose (which it didn't seem like he had! the poor guy looked too embarrassed to have done it deliberately) they decided that this was unthinkable - it was obviously an act of malicious intent - so they began to push him around...the guy kept protesting that it was an accident - wrong response -this resulted in him being kicked in the stomach by the manager...as this went on, 2 employees working in the kitchen felt that they were also offended by the chair falling down the stairs and came out to help the managers kick the guy and escort him out of the store!
And it was at that moment that Mia and I remembered that we were in France! - the customer is always right? N'importe quoi!!!
The fun began with a confusing few minutes spent ordering - Mia ordered fries and a filet-o-fish but no drink (pas de boisson!) but the guy thought she said "pas de poisson" - here was our first problem - boisson (drink) and poisson (fish) sound remarkably similar - but the poor guy was trying to work out why she wanted a filet-o-fish with no fish.....until we explained that she had said boisson and not poisson and that she just didn't want a drink....first complication over!
Then, as we were quietly seated in Mcdonalds luxury we suddenly heard a large crashing sound. As we looked up we noticed that it was nothing more than a chair which had been knocked, tumbling down the stairs...we looked over to the culprit who looked slightly embarrassed - poor guy we thought - it was a bit embarrassing...but what we didn't realise was that the act of him knocking a chair down the stairs was obviously a gross insult and offensive act to those working at Mcdonalds - the manager on dining room and the manager in the kitchen came running over to see what all the noise was about and made a human wall at the bottom of the stairs to block him from leaving the store...as he came down the stairs to try to leave, the managers started yelling abuse at him - as the guy tried to assure the management that he hadn't done it on purpose (which it didn't seem like he had! the poor guy looked too embarrassed to have done it deliberately) they decided that this was unthinkable - it was obviously an act of malicious intent - so they began to push him around...the guy kept protesting that it was an accident - wrong response -this resulted in him being kicked in the stomach by the manager...as this went on, 2 employees working in the kitchen felt that they were also offended by the chair falling down the stairs and came out to help the managers kick the guy and escort him out of the store!
And it was at that moment that Mia and I remembered that we were in France! - the customer is always right? N'importe quoi!!!
dimanche 27 mai 2007
En Français
Hier soir j'étais chez Christian avec Guéna et je les ai montré mon blog et ils ont demandé 'pourquoi c'est en anglais?' ... Donc j'ai decidé que désormais j'écrirai quelques extraits en français aussi pour les raisons suivantes;
1) Si c'est ma vie Parisienne, c'est une vie française et evidemment je devrais ecrire en français
2) Un grand défi pour moi est d'être capable de communiquer tout que je veux dans une autre langue
3) Il faut que j'écrive plus en Français parce que comme ça, il deviendra l'habitude et je peux l'ameliorer plus rapidement
4) j'ai des amis français qui sont nul en anglais ;) je déconne!
Alors, quand j'ecris en français il faut que vous (les français - pas les australiens marrants) me corrigiez - s'il vous plait!! vous pouvez 'faire une commentaire' pour dire 'Sam, j'aime bien ta petite traduction, c'est mignonne, mais on ne le dit pas comme ça en France, on dit plûtot....' ou si vous préférez 'c'est quoi cette merde?! qu'est-ce que tu voulais dire?'
Pourtant la plupart de mon blog sera en anglais, parce que c'est vous qui connaissez beaucoup de ma vie parisienne parce que vous avez de la chance pour la partager avec moi...
Voilà - mon premier message en français - j'espère qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup d'erreurs - mais vous me dites!
1) Si c'est ma vie Parisienne, c'est une vie française et evidemment je devrais ecrire en français
2) Un grand défi pour moi est d'être capable de communiquer tout que je veux dans une autre langue
3) Il faut que j'écrive plus en Français parce que comme ça, il deviendra l'habitude et je peux l'ameliorer plus rapidement
4) j'ai des amis français qui sont nul en anglais ;) je déconne!
Alors, quand j'ecris en français il faut que vous (les français - pas les australiens marrants) me corrigiez - s'il vous plait!! vous pouvez 'faire une commentaire' pour dire 'Sam, j'aime bien ta petite traduction, c'est mignonne, mais on ne le dit pas comme ça en France, on dit plûtot....' ou si vous préférez 'c'est quoi cette merde?! qu'est-ce que tu voulais dire?'
Pourtant la plupart de mon blog sera en anglais, parce que c'est vous qui connaissez beaucoup de ma vie parisienne parce que vous avez de la chance pour la partager avec moi...
Voilà - mon premier message en français - j'espère qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup d'erreurs - mais vous me dites!
samedi 26 mai 2007
In honour of Hayley
In honour of my little sis Hayley who was shocked and disappointed that I didn't respond to her sms containing the 'greatest trivia ever', I'm going to help her in her goal to share the message with the world... For those of you who didn't know - the song 'Jessie' by Joshua Kadison was in fact written about his relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker! Wow - I know, don't die from shock...
And in other news, I went to see Paolo Nutini last week at L'Olympia. In the beginning we were a little concerned by his mega lisp and 'I've got an apple in my mouth' singing style, but fortunately this passed after a couple of songs and he began singing normally...The young scot (don't be confused by his Italian name) did himself proud and put on a great show. Even if when he speaks his accent is so thick and his tendancy to mumble leaves you not understanding a word (the poor French - have difficulty with English in the best of conditions), it was still highly entertaining! And if you check out the you tube link you can see a great cover - dedicated to the ape in Borneo that Paolo has recently adopted....
And in other news, I went to see Paolo Nutini last week at L'Olympia. In the beginning we were a little concerned by his mega lisp and 'I've got an apple in my mouth' singing style, but fortunately this passed after a couple of songs and he began singing normally...The young scot (don't be confused by his Italian name) did himself proud and put on a great show. Even if when he speaks his accent is so thick and his tendancy to mumble leaves you not understanding a word (the poor French - have difficulty with English in the best of conditions), it was still highly entertaining! And if you check out the you tube link you can see a great cover - dedicated to the ape in Borneo that Paolo has recently adopted....
The techno-retard starts blogging
A special day has arrived - not only is it 10 days until my one year anniversary of leaving Australia, but it is also the day I finally decide to get over my phobia of technology and become a blogger. I never thought it would happen to me, but it seems the tantalising world of blogs sucks us all in one day....So, what have you missed? - about a years worth of stuff - but I'm sure things will only get better, crazier and more French by the second (I even rerecorded my voice mail message today in French!) - so take a seat, strap yourself in and join me on the ride that is - My Parisian Life!
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