Le ou la - n'importe quoi! *

So it seems that I am destined to always make mistakes with gender when speaking French. When every bloody object is either masculine or feminine it's difficult to be able to learn them all par coeur. I have been assured by both French and non-french alike that no matter how long I live here, I will always make gender mistakes - it's not very reassuring news, but I'm sure they are all right.

Unfortunately, there seems to be no easy rule which you can apply to know if an object is masculine or feminine - it's just something you know, or in my case, don't know. Apparently the way a word is spelt can help you, there are certain endings of words which can indicate if something is masculine or feminine - however as usual, there are many exceptions. My own rule, which I'd advise you to use with caution, is to say whatever comes out of your mouth and hope that no one is paying attention. Afterall, using logic is not an option, as it has nothing to do with logic. Let's take the example of a vagina (MASCULINE - un vagin) and a dick (FEMININE - une bite)**. You can try and explain this to me Frenchies, mais je sais qu'on a tous des problèmes...

So, as I see it there seems to be two options - accept that I will always make these mistakes and not worry about them, or speak English - the genderless language!!! Heureusement, je préfère d'accepter que je ferai des erreurs avec le/la genre que parler en anglais tout le temps.

*Note to non-french speakers - this title rhymes (didn't want you to miss the full effect)
**Mia Jones - a young lady learning and sharing all of the most important things in France!